So Long. Farewell. Adieu to Yen and You.

Put another way, here's my wall of worry:

1. Currency collapse. No glazing of the eyes! This concept is NOT hard, soccer moms.  Keep your eye on the curve!  The dollar is melting.  Watch this video and look at the yield (interest rate -- or, in super-plain English, the cost to borrow).

 

2. Religious-freedom collapse. No Bible-thumping, I promise.  But this is easy.  If you're a liberal, you gotta' ask yourself:  what the hell is going on in Pakistan?  Libya? Egypt? Syria? Yemen?  What does a real war on women look like?  See Sharia law.  War on gays and gay sex, much less marriage?  Yowza.  See Sharia law.  War on free speech?  See Sharia law. 

But whatever.  What I want to know is this:  what the heck is my neighbor doing putting up that nativity scene in her yard?  It totally offends me.  "Live and let live," is my motto.  Whatever motto is yours, my motto is multi-culti-monotheistic-agnostic-ethnic-tolerant-worshipping-of-whatever-non-theological-non-judgmental-sesame-seed-loving-WICCAN-feminist bitch-that-ever-lived and I totally LOVE you.  So go on, practice your religion-- as long as you're not Christian.  Are we clear?

Because if your display is remotely Christian, I've got a HUGE problem with that.  Get it out of my face.  It's impinging.  It's infringing.  Also?  I'm calling the police and I'll have you arrested. Have you no concept of separation of church and state?  See also, Sharia law.

3. Privacy collapse. Oh, wait. That's already happened. Hooray.  See this tit for that tat.  Bother, bother -- for those who have something to hide, that is.  So . . .  do you have something to hide?  DO YOU?  Bet you do, you cretin!

For years I've dreamt of the day my dentist would have access to the State's pharmaceutical data base.  If I'm bipolar, I want to be loud and proud!  If I was temporarily blue and feeling a tad depressed, postpartum?  Put that in my medical records now and FOREVAH.  Because I'm proud of that psychotic baby bump. Memorialize my weakness now and for time immemorial.  And God help us both, let me NEVER buy a gun!

It's been years since I got a charge out of going to my dentist. But he will soon have unfettered access to my medical records, thanks to Obamacare, and I can't wait to see him.  Because my life is an open book, and my life is so very interesting!  I LOVE forced sharing.  I've never met a doctor I didn't like -- EVER! -- and there will never be a doctor (after he sees my chart) who doesn't love me.  Right?  Right?  Koom-by-yah-my-Lord.  Koom-by-doc.

So, anyway, I'm writing a federal software program to track and record all alcohol purchases (thank you TAXPAYERS!).  So exciting!  And challenging (and job-validating!  Alcoholism is epidemic, you know!). When I finish up, the government will know every time you buy an ounce of spirits, and may jolly-well cut you off!  And I'll know whenever my doctor buys an ounce of spirits -- because, in my position, I can totally tap that!  What could be lovelier?  

Ya Vol!

4. Responsibility collapse.  Repeat after me:  there is no such thing as good or evil.  Notions like "good and evil" bring to mind religious themes.  Stop that religious abomination now.  In point of fact, there is no God.  There are only mental illnesses and those damnable white-male guns carried around by white-male crazies doped up on pharmaceuticals.  So there.  

Similarly, there are no heroes or villains in this world.  There are only neuro-typical (or non-neuro-typical) individuals who fail to act within normative neuro-typical parameters -- and their behavior depends on their level of non-neuro-typicality. And the government gets the last word on who is and isn't neurotypical -- including YOU! So shut the f*ck up now.  Now then.  Are we clear?

We are all subjects, acting without regard to our faith, gender, sex religion, or creed, free will, or -- perish the thought -- mental illness.  GO, ROBOTS!  We are so very feeble and in dire need of a powerful government to help us eat its screed.

The good do good because . . . well, we are still pondering that.  Social scientists are still scratching their heads.  But the bad unidentifiable, non-neuro-typical actors in our midst are moved to violence because they've been bullied -- or they've been instigated or incited by gun manufacturers or movie-makers or medication manufacturers, all in a push to act!  

So, NO PROFILING of these people.  It is WRONG.  The answer is to punish the law abiding.  Because we HAVE to do SOMETHING.

When asked whether the film industry should stop propagating school violence, Quentin Tarantino responded, "Give me a break." [QT has also said he will say the N-word wherever and however often he pleases, despite his undisputed whiteness.  Whenever he's accused of racism he becomes most indignant.  But that's okay:  as long as he's acting as a journalist, he is fully indemnified from the charge of racism.  Cf., David Gregory.  Also? Leftists, by definition, cannot be racist, so why on God's earth are we even talking about this?]

When someone on Facebook asked how the "gun community" planned to stem school violence, one response was, "I dunno'. What is the gay community going do about Penn State?" (Source: @GayPatiot and @Instapundit via Twitter)  What a ridiculous non-sequitur.  Who's buying me fried rice?

Bah.  Racism.  So tiresome, yet so inescapable.  It's everywhere you look and everywhere you don't.  Wolf!  Wolf!

In less reported news (and I intend no irony here) a young man, described as borderline-genius, got it in his head that he'd contracted Aspbergers from his father.  Accordingly, he killed his father's girlfriend and then his college-professor dad -- in front of his father's students -- with a bow and arrow.  He drove all the way from Connecticut to Wyoming to kill the pair.  I know, right?!  WTF is up with Connecticut?  Ban that state, man.

In other (mostly) unreported news, a gunman fled a nail salon in Casper, Wyoming, after a female nail patron pulled out her own gun.   So those Casper people don't want to be ghosts.  Curious.

Jake Tapper queried the President at his daily briefing (Whoa. Stop! Not daily at all! His bicentennial briefing, I meant to say) and Obama got irked, declaring:  "What are you talking about, Jake?  That female nail-salon patron didn't stop that gunman.  SHE DID NOT STOP HIM.  It was the roads and bridges that allowed the gunman to get there." 

Hmm?  What's that?  The nail salon lady's old mom had joie de' vivre and should therefore be allowed to live?  Oh, you silly!  Don't be pilly!

5.  Collapse of climate change:  Ah.  This may be one collapse that's all right by me.

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